


"You can't die... Please don't die..." Lams

by Hamiltalian



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-06-05 20:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15178496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hamiltalian/pseuds/Hamiltalian
Summary: Idk if this is going to stay a one shot or if I'm going to add to it.Update: I added to it!





	1. Chapter 1

This was the day. Alexander knew it was. The day was perfectly planned out and it was going to work out according to plan. That’s what he kept saying, but he couldn’t stop himself from feeling endless waves of anxiety as he paced around his apartment.

“Deep breath, Alex. You’ve got this,” he told himself as he stood in front of the mirror. He splashed cold water on his face, then took a deep breath and began getting ready. Everything had to be perfect for John. He took a long hot shower, scrubbing every last bit of dirt and dead skin off of him, then got out and put on the turtle boxers that John got for him and his best jeans. After that, he brushed his teeth well and rinsed out his mouth before shaving, making sure every last stray hair was cut before cleaning the stubble off and putting on a plain white shirt and a parakeet green button up over it. It was his best color, in his opinion. After doing a few (hundred) runs over his mental checklist, he headed out to where they were supposed to meet in front of the local theater.

He finally got himself to calm down when he saw John. He smiled and watched him walk towards him. He looked as perfect as always, his own black button up shirt open and a band t-shirt underneath it. His hair was back in a flawless ponytail and he overall looked like a picture of perfection to Alexander. He’d imagined that moment and thought that he was going to feel at least 800 times as nervous as he had in the morning, but that wasn’t true. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Seeing John there, it only made him more sure of what he was doing.

He began walking towards him when things started changing. Time slowed down and certain noises became more prominent as they rang through his ears. Something wasn’t right. No, more than that. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He felt it in his gut. The sirens, the screeching, the screaming. It felt like he was moving in slow motion when he turned towards the source of the sound. A car, moving down the street and police cars chasing it. He looked back at John and saw him stopped, paralyzed in fear as the car came racing towards him. Alexander could only think one thing as he raced to save him. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, holding it as time slowly ticked on.

He grabbed John’s arm and pulled him away just in time, him landing hard on the sidewalk and John landing on top of him. He didn’t care that his entire body ached. He cared that John was safe. He held him close. “Are you okay?..”

“I think so..” John nodded and got up, helping Alexander to his feet. A few people came over and asked John the same thing, but the pair assured them that he was okay and brushed themselves off before going inside and watching John’s favorite musical, Heathers. The production was great, though John had to admit that he still favored the original cast, and, afterwards, Alexander took them to the zoo, John’s favorite place.

John didn’t know why they were doing all of his favorite things, but he didn’t argue. After all, Alexander said all the time that his only goal was to make John happy and that was certainly going to happen if everything went right. The only thing that would make things better was if he didn’t have those stupid cramps. He had to be off of testosterone before his top surgery, but things weren’t quite as planned. His hormones were unbalanced, so Satan’s waterfall began to flow, but at least it was the last one for a while. And, besides, he didn’t mind it for Alexander, for what it would mean for their future.

Once they reached the aquarium, John’s favorite part of the zoo, Alexander stopped, holding his hands and smiling widely.

“Why did you stop?” John asked, though he was hardly complaining.

“I have something important to ask you.”

John squeezed his hands weakly. “That’s perfect because I have something important to tell you.”

Alexander smiled and cupped John’s cheek, then realized how sickly he looked. “Are you okay? You’re pale and sweaty.. And you’re ice cold.”

John realized it was a strange set of symptoms, but it had been his first time off of testosterone. He figured that had something to do with it. “That’s actually what I wanted to say. I-” He was cut off as he fell unconscious, collapsing backwards onto the ground.

Alexander gasped and kneeled down, checking for a pulse. It was there, but just barely. He began chest compressions and called for help, a few onlookers calling 911. After a few minutes, he checked his pulse again. Even weaker. He kept doing his chest compressions until the EMTs arrived and lifted John onto a stretcher, immediately noticing what Alexander hadn’t.

There was a shadow of blood beneath his body.

Alexander could’ve sworn he was going to be sick, but kept his focus on John, following the EMTs outside, though he was stopped at the ambulance. They let him know which hospital they were going to, but Alexander couldn’t go in the ambulance.

He jumped in his car and immediately drove to the hospital, arriving after the ambulance. He asked the nurse where John was and was allowed to see him, but only from outside of the room. Almost as soon as he got there, John was wheeled away and Alexander got the attention of a doctor. “Where are you taking him?”

“He needs an X-ray. I don’t know if you were aware, but he was shot somehow.”

“Sh.. Shot?.. But he was just fine a minute ago.. No pain, no anything..”

“I know this may be difficult to take in. I can’t understand what you must be going through, but its vital that you remain calm. Please have a seat in the waiting room. I’ll have a doctor who better understands the situation speak with you as soon as they can.”

Alexander nodded and silently left to the waiting room, having a seat. Shot?.. It almost seemed impossible. Except. Back with the car chase. There were sirens, screeching tires, screaming, and gunshots. John must’ve gotten hit. Tears streamed down Alexander’s face. No.. Not John. He tensed up as he felt a light hand on his shoulder.

“Excuse me, are you here for John Laurens?”

Alexander nodded and the doctor sat beside him. “I’m sorry.. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling. Do you have any idea how this could’ve happened?”

“Yes.. This morning, a car chase passed us by. But I had no idea he was shot.. And neither did he.. Is he going to be okay?..”

The doctor hesitated for a second before responding. “We aren’t quite sure right now. That’s what the X-ray is for. We need to see if the bullet is in a dangerous place before removing it.”

“Dangerous place?..”

“Yes, like a blood vessel or an organ. But, I’m going to be honest with you. He lost a lot of blood. Even if the surgery is a perfect success, there is a chance that the brain or another organ has been damaged. We’ll need to monitor him.”

“I understand..”

A nurse stepped in. “Doctor? The results of the X-ray are in.”

They nodded and left.

Alexander was alone with his thoughts once more. He frowned and pulled out the box that had been weighing heavily in his jacket pocket, opening it and looking at the ring inside. A beautifully cut opal resting in a silver band. John would’ve loved it. And, now, Alexander wasn’t sure he’d ever get to see it.

No, he couldn’t think like that. John was strong. He had to survive this. He had to.

Another hour went by without word of John’s condition and, by then, Alexander was pacing across the almost empty waiting room. The same doctor came in and sat down with him.

“We were able to perform the surgery. The bullet was lodged in a pocket of fat that’s collecting on his sides. His long chest binder kept it in place and slowed the blood loss. His sudden collapse was caused by the fact that he lost blood slowly. It went unnoticed until he suddenly wasn’t able to function any more. He mistook the pain with menstrual cramps.”

“But that’s impossible. John can’t get periods right now.”

“I understand your confusion, but his hormones are quite unbalanced. A sudden burst of testosterone caused him to have a cycle, despite the baby.”

Alexander’s eyes went wide. “The.. The baby?.. John’s pregnant?..”

She looked at him, shocked. “I’m so sorry. I was under the impression that you knew. I had a nurse sent off his clothing to get cleaned, though we had to cut the binder off, and he found this in his shirt pocket.” She reached into her lab coat pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, handing it to Alexander.

His hands shook as he unfolded the paper and, right there, was an ultrasound image of a baby. Alexander smiled widely and hugged the doctor, tears running down his face. After a second, he pulled away. “The baby’s okay?”

She sighed. “I’m sorry. The baby’s only going to be as okay as John and, right now, we’re unable to give any solid information. You can go see him, but he’s still unconscious.”

Alexander nodded and followed the doctor up to John’s room. At least he looked peaceful.

“We did an ultrasound after his operation. If he’s okay, then the baby will be fine. But only time will tell right now.”

“Thank you..” He sat beside John’s bed, the doctor giving them some privacy. He took John’s hand into his own, at least he wasn’t cold anymore, and raised it to his lips, tenderly pressing his knuckles to his lips until he was sure John still knew he loved him, conscious or not. A few doctors and nurses came in and out of the room in the next few hours, but they let Alexander stay right where he was at John’s side.

By nightfall, John was still out and things were starting to look bleek. The doctors did another ultrasound and let Alexander listen to the heartbeat. And he cried. How could he not? Their baby was fighting for life just as hard as John was before it was even born, only 16 weeks after conception. Still, as heartbreaking as that was, it was going to kill Alexander if he had to say goodbye to John already. He was only 24, a year younger than Alexander. Losing him would’ve torn out a large part of Alexander’s heart, easily.

Alexander stayed at John’s side even through the night, sleeping with his head resting on John’s chest. Things were looking bleak. If John’s heart wasn’t beating on it’s own by then, it wasn’t going to beat on its own at all. Alexander signed the consent forms, but wanted to be asleep when it all happened. The doctors came in and did their best to not wake up Alexander as they pulled the plugs. John Laurens was pronounced dead at 1:36 a.m.  

A few minutes after they left, a shaky hand took Alexander’s and raised it to a pair of chapped, clammy lips, leaving a small kiss and whispering a joke.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”


	2. Chapter 2

Alexander helped John to his feet and held his hand as they walked out of the hospital. It was only a couple of months since everything had happened, but it felt like eternity. Waiting through tests and results to make sure that John and the baby were okay had been the most stressful thing in his life, but that didn’t matter anymore. John was healthy and they were going to have a baby in only a matter of months. The stress was worth it. He couldn’t be happier.

“Looks like I can’t wear my binder for a while,” John remarked as they got into Alexander’s car, running a hand over his slightly bulging belly. “Not that I’m complaining. Having a baby with you is going to be so worth it.” He smiled and held his hand as he drove.

Alexander kissed his hand. “You took the words right out of my mouth. I’m so happy that you’re okay.. You and the baby.”

He smiled. “Maybe it’s time we move in together, then..”

“I’m not letting you do any heavy lifting. I don’t want you to stress yourself out.”

John tutted playfully. “And it begins now. You’re going to be such a protective father.”

“You can’t blame me.”

“Well, I’m not letting you move my stuff alone. Maybe we can tell Laf and Herc and they can help.”

“Sounds like a plan. They’re dying to see you after everything, but I told them only I was allowed to see you.. I didn’t want them to accidentally find out.”

“It’s fine. That’s perfect. Maybe we can go now.”

“Alright.” He smiled and drove them to their house, helping John out of the car.

“I have legs, Alexander. I can walk just fine.”

“Well, excuse me for worrying for my boyfriend after getting shot,” he joked.

John chuckled and shoved his hands into the front of his big hoodie, helping to hide his baby bump.

Alexander knocked on the door and smiled as Lafayette answered.

“John, I am so happy to see that you’re okay!” He hugged him tightly before taking a good look at him. “You seem so different.”

“I guess being shot does that to you,” he shrugged. “The doctor told me to take it easy, so no binder for a while.”

He nodded. “Well, don’t just stand there, come in! Hercules is dying to see you too.” He led the pair inside and called Hercules, letting them sit as he came downstairs.

John stood up and gave him a bro hug.

“Glad to see you alive and well.”

“Glad to be alive and well.” He smiled and sat back down.

“So,” Lafayette began, “what brings you around? Not that I’m not glad to see you alright, John, I just get the feeling that this isn’t an everyday visit.”

“You’d be right.” Alexander smiled. “We need you guys to help me move John’s stuff into my house.”

“Yeah. The doctor the gunshot wound is completely healed, but I should still keep away from heavy lifting for the next three or four months.”

“Really? That seems like such a long time,” Lafayette pointed out.

“Yeah, if your wound is healed, why would you have to wait such a long time?”

John smiled widely. “Because it’s bad for the baby.” He ran a hand over his tummy and it was only matter of seconds before both guys understood, both gasping in surprise.

“Oh my god, you’re pregnant!” Lafayette practically screeched, jumping to his feet and pulling John into a hug.

“Congrats, guys! When did you decide on this?”

“Well.. We didn’t. I had to stop my T shots for top surgery and it just sort of happened,” John explained, pulling away from Lafayette’s hug after a minute. “That’s why I’m wearing such a big hoodie,” he continued, pulling off the hoodie and showing his friends his baby bump.

Lafayette smiled and looked at John. “May I?”

“Go ahead.”

Lafayette ran his hands over John’s belly. “Aw, I’m so proud of you. Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“No, we wanted it to be a surprise. But- ow- whatever it is, they seem to kick a lot.” He chuckled, flinching a bit as the baby kicked. “It doesn’t really hurt, it’s just a bit of a surprise.”

Lafayette nodded. “I see.”

Hercules smiled. “We’d be glad to help you move, though. Maybe this weekend? John can tell his girlfriends.”

He shook his head. “Actually, we were thinking of telling them another way.”

That weekend, Hercules and Lafayette helped move John’s things into Alexander’s roomier house and let him decorate a room that would serve as a nursery, a room that was locked during John’s birthday party the week after. It was a simple party, just a picnic while Alexander projected movies on the side of the house. Everyone was on their blankets spread across the yarn and John’s blanket covered him from the neck down.

When it came time for the birthday cake, John and his blanket moved to the table and sat while everyone else sang Happy birthday. He smiled and made his wish, then came the usual questions of what his wish was.

“You know how people say that if you say your wish out loud, it won’t come true?”

Everyone did the usual groaning and urging him to tell them anyways and he smiled.

“Alright. I don’t want this wish to come true, so here it is. I wish that you guys wouldn’t be surprised by this.” He stood up and put his blanket down, letting everyone see his growing belly.

The Schuyler sisters and Maria ran to his side and congratulated him and gave him hugs while the guys applauded him.

Only two months later, the house was ready for the baby and John was ready to have them, just for the sake of getting his belly out of his way. He couldn’t do much more than just lay there and watch movies all day and it was starting to get boring.

Then, all of a sudden, he wished it had stayed that way.

He’d been having stomach cramps, but he’d thought that was just the ice cream and oranges that he’d been craving for weeks. Stabs of pain began attacking and he sat up, taking the deep breaths that he’d practiced with Alexander. Shit, Alexander, who was at work. Okay, he could do this. It was still early. He got up and began making his way upstairs, taking a break halfway up and sitting as it came again. Alright, this wasn’t good. This baby was coming. And fast. He was at the top of the stairs when he heard another voice.

“Jack? Are you here? Alexander said you weren’t answering your phone.”

“Herc! I’m up here!”

Hercules followed the sound of his voice, his eyes widening in shock as he did. “Oh my god, what happened?”

“I’m having this baby. Like now!”

“No, no, no, no, you have to wait until I can call an ambulance!”

“I don’t think I have a choice!”

He picked John up and took him upstairs to his bed since it was close, holding his hand as he called 911. He told them that John was in labor and hoped that it was the end of it when they said the ambulance was on its way. But no. Life wasn’t that easy. Thanks to the person on the other line, after a quick check and a few thousand mumbles of apology, Hercules saw that the baby was, in fact, coming. “What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?”

“Sir, I’m going to need you to calm down. Everything’s going to be okay, just follow my instructions.”

And Hercules made damn sure to follow every instruction to a T. After a few more minutes, it was the moment of truth and John began to push. It only took a few more minutes before the baby was out and crying. Hercules wrapped it up in a clean towel and carefully gave it to John, cutting the cord. “I never want to do that again.”

Before John could respond, he felt another cramp. “I don’t think you’re getting a choice.”

Luckily, the paramedics finally arrived and took John away, letting Herc come with them as John had his second baby in the ambulance.

“Twins. That would have been a good detail to mention a few minutes ago,” Hercules teased as he held the first baby, a girl, while John held the other, a boy.

“Tell that to my doctor. I didn’t know either. Alexander said we wanted a surprise, but this is not what we meant.”

He smiled. “Speaking of which, let me call him.” He got his phone and called Alexander.

“What’s up, Herc? Is John okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine.”

“Is that a siren? Where are you?!”

“Well… Me and John and a couple of new people are in an ambulance.”

“John is- Wait, what do you mean new people?! Oh my god, new paramedics! They’re going to kill John!”

“Alex! Chill out. Here, say hi.” He put the phone near the baby’s ear.

“… Hello?..” Alexander felt his heart stop as he heard the baby cooing.

“See?”

“Oh my god! Where are you?! When did this happen?! I need to go there right now!”

And he did. Alexander got to the hospital seconds after John was settled in the room, the babies getting checked out.

“Hey there.. How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted, now come over here and hug me.”

Alexander smiled widely and did just that. “Where’s the baby?”

“Getting checked out. And there’s something that the doctor forgot to mention at my last appointment.”

“What is it? The baby’s okay, right?”

“Yeah, but-”

John was interrupted by two nurses rolling the babies in and stopping beside him, congratulating him and Alexander.

Seconds after they left, the pieces came together in Alexander’s mind. Rather than flip, like John would have predicted, he smiled widely and went over to them, looking between them before looking at John. “Looks like we both get to choose a name… Frances for you and Philip for me, right?”

John nodded. “I like that..”

Alexander sat beside him and kissed his forehead. “Our little family is almost complete..”

“Almost?..”

He nodded and pulled out a ring box from his pocket. “All that’s left is for you to marry me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone interested in commissioning me for one shots can email me at slashgashotaku@gmail.com for details.


End file.
